The best laid plans ...

At his meeting with his employment consultant yesterday, A-One reported on the job ads he had found interesting over the last fortnight, even if just a little.

A-One: There was one that required some packaging of orders, with some reception and admin work.  But they wanted someone who could 'work under pressure', and 'answer phone calls at reception'.

Consultant: Let me stop you right there.  How do you know if your idea of pressure is the same as their idea of pressure? You don't really know until you try.  When you think maybe you can't do it, I want you to put those thoughts away, and give it a go.  It's a good to be in the habit of applying, and good practice if you get an interview.  And when they say they want experience? Remember, you say you are willing to learn.

A-One: Yes.

Consultant: As you say, you might not find cleaning jobs really interesting, but you need to start somewhere, and from there you can work on to other jobs that you like better.

Mum: Yes, over the last fortnight, I heard A-One say for the first time ever 'working my way up'!

Consultant: Yes, that's how it can work. Will you get to your 8 employer contacts for our next meeting?

A-One: Yes, I'll do that.

On the way home, the plan had been to go via the shopping centre so that A-One could drop in his resume at his targeted shops (electronic gaming), as well as be on the look out for those looking for staff.

Mum: We'll just stop by home first so that you can swap the thongs for some shoes.

A-One: So, we're going home first now?  ... I really need a haircut too.

Mum: We could do that right now if you like.

A-One: OK.   Now, (consulting his iPod notes) how do I pay for this with my card again? Do I press credit or savings?

The haircut and payment duly executed, we headed for the 'quick' stop at home. He headed for the toilet.

Thirty minutes later:

Mum: A-One, how long will you be?  We'll run out of time!

A-One: We won't do it this afternoon.

After he emerged, he sat at his computer:

Mum: So when do you want to go down to the shopping centre?

A-One: I don't know.

Mum: If you need my help to get there, or to help you practice what to say before you talk to employers, you need to give me a time.  But if you go there on the bus, or walk, then it's up to you.

A-One: I don't know!  I need to think about it.

Mum: OK. How long do you think you'll need to think about it?

A-One: I don't know!

I moved on to something else.  Another day, another try ...

Not bored. Disappointed.

Over the last few weeks A-One's overall Lumosity BPI has stayed pretty steady at around 1000 or 43rd percentile.  He's been playing on average about three to four times a week.  The exciting part is that he is almost at the 50th percentile for Flexibility, and almost, almost at the 10th percentile for Problem Solving.  I'm still trying to convince him to re-prioritise his training preferences with Problem Solving at the top so that he can give himself a good workout in that area.

I asked him today if he was getting bored with Lumosity, because there are other exercises he could try, for example CogniFit.

A-One: It's not so much that I'm bored, but that only a few of the games have a 'Pause' button.  They flash up things so fast that it doesn't give me time to get it right. And sometimes I get only one thing wrong, and it gives me a low score - which is disappointing.  And the Penguin still goes faster than I can, which is cheating. Do they have a feedback section where I can tell them?

Mum: Some of the games might be testing your speed, just above your current level of skill, so that it's stretching you to get better.  Do you know what happens when you play any game against someone better than you?  Like tennis?

A-One: You lose?

Mum (laughing): Yes, probably.  But you get better!  They help you to lift your game. 

A-One: Sometimes you need to pause to do something else, like answer the door or something, and then for that day, you get a low score.

Mum: Well, after your official training for that day you could always do the game again to see how well you could really do without taking a break.  It wouldn't count in your official score, but you'd know how well you've really done.  And that's what really important isn't it?

A-One: Yes, I could do that.

Mum: If you want to send in some feedback, why don't you and see what they say?

A-One: I will, but not now.

I'm just not that into it Mum

Mum: A-One, I want to get your scores on the last couple of Lumosity games you've played.

A-One: No, not now!

Mum: I told you about an hour ago that I'd be coming to get your scores.

A-One: Not until I've done my games today.

Mum: I'm not waiting until midnight to get your scores for the last couple of days.

A-One: It won't be midnight.

Mum: All you need to do is 'brb' to your WOW mates!  I'm not waiting until tonight! I've given you plenty of notice.

Under sufferance he logged on to get his scores.

Mum: You're now at 40th percentile overall!

A-One (dully): Yes.

Mum: And you are in the 40s for both Attention and Flexibility!  All you need to do is relearn your tables and number facts and your Problem Solving would shoot up too.

A-One: I know what I have to do Mum.

Mum: Sigh.

Motivation and discipline

Once we got home, A-One had some jobs to do which he hadn't done last night, and I reminded him that I wanted to see his last Lumosity results (from Friday). Eventually he called me upstairs to see them.

He pointed out to me that he had achieved five PBs - I was pleased that he showed some interest in his results.  I told him again what great progress he had made - he's almost at 40th percentile overall, is already in the 40s (percentile) for Flexibility and almost the same for Attention.

Mum: You're doing so well, I think it's time to change your training priorities.

A-One: No. Nuh. No.

Mum: You need to work on your Problem Solving (which is still under 10th percentile).  You have done so well on all the others - up 60 percentiles on Speed since you started! You would do really well on Problem Solving if you just revised all your tables and number facts.  You used to know them, they would come back if you worked at them.  If you did that, I reckon you would zoom up on Problem Solving too, just like you have on all the others.

A-One: I know, but look, I will be doing a Problem Solving game today.  It's a Maths one though.

Mum: As I said ....  You know, I'm really looking forward to seeing what difference this all makes for your next job.

Is it making a difference in real life?

Last week A-One's dad asked him to do an outside job - pull down a vine off the fence.  It's a job he had done before, and it usually takes days of hassling to get him on to it.  However, last week he offered far less protest and actually had it done before his dad came home.  I didn't even remind him about doing it, and he did an excellent job.

This morning I asked him if he was ready to leave for Centrelink by 8:20am for an 8:45am appointment.  Recalling the last appointment, he said we could leave by 8:30am and be there on time.  When I think of all the times I try to get him to commit to a time and work back from there as to when to start getting ready! Seems that when it suits him, the working back from a time (time planning) may be all there?

I was reading a discussion on Friends of SharpBrains LinkedIn page this morning, which stressed the need for continued, disciplined effort for brain training to be effective.  That even parents find it difficult to maintain the focus for their children on brain training programs.  I also listened to a TED talk on motivation. How a manager takes notice of what people do can make all the difference to their willingness to stick with things (although I think any parent knows this too).  I know that if I left his brain training to A-One, it would never happen.  I just hope that my continued interest, encouragement and hassling - he sees me recording all his results in 'the red folder' - is sufficient to ensure he is doing enough for it to make a difference.

Pension cancelled!

A-One forgot to report his (zero) income to Centrelink for a couple of reporting periods, and received a letter advising him that his pension had been cancelled. I was aghast.

 

 

 

Earlier I had coached him to set up an alert on his iPod to remind him to report. When he lost his job and his reporting became zero, he had been managing the reporting OK. Despite my suggestion that he should advise Centrelink he no longer had a job (so that he didn't have to report any more), he hadn't taken me up on assisting him with the phone call. 

 

The letter prompted him to action.  Before he made the call to Centrelink, we practised what he could say. He pulled out the making phone calls 'recipe' I had written out for him some time ago.  He handled the call very well, which resulted in the reactivation of his pension (and no longer needing to report his income.)  Phew!

Speak to me of love ...

Another conversation this morning about making brain training a priority.

Mum: Get on to your brain training this morning so that I can write it up and then my day is clear for other things.

A-One: Can't I just tell you when I've done it?

Mum: I'm the busy one, and I need you to work in with me so that I can plan my day.

A-One: I don't have to do it to suit your convenience! You don't have the authority to tell me when I have to do it.  (Doesn't he have great verbal skills?)

Mum: Well, yes I do. It is a requirement of living in this house that you complete your brain training by 10am every day.  

A-One: You don't say things like that to your immediate family!  Maybe to others, but not to me, and I don't see you saying it to .. (A-One's sisters).

Mum: Your brain training is that important! Successful people decide what are the top 1-3 things to do every day, and don't let other things get in the way - they make time for the important things first!  I'm trying to show you successful life skills.  I've given up work so that I can work with you or find something to help you.  I have made this my top priority.  (I felt tears rising) it's because I love you A-One, not because I want to make your life difficult. I've researched this work, and you will have to give me the benefit of the doubt about its value.

A-One: Okay.

On reading this, those who subscribe to a self-directed learning philosophy may squirm. It's clear what my priorities are for A-One, what about his? They may ask, how is that respectful of him? Yet our experience of A-One is that he lacks initiative. He lacks the capacity to translate an abstract goal into real concrete steps, and from what I have read, I think this passivity is one of his cognitive impairments. Last year, the neuropsychologist told us to be directive in taking positive steps.  She commented that waiting for him wasn't working, was it?

In the end, we want him to know he is loved, and our drive (and frustration) comes from there.

 

His scores today were similar to yesterday; speed was down, but the others were OK. A couple of new games.

As we looked at his scores, I explained to A-One the importance of two types of games based on his previous capability assessments: information processing and working memory. We looked at the games available, noting those that exercised these capabilities. I told him that if the program doesn't serve up these games to him, he needs to add them in as 'extras' every day.

Time will tell whether I've got through to him for just today, or for the days ahead too.