It takes time to be handsome

With no WiFi at present, A-One has connected his laptop into the last spare cable internet connection in the study.  As I have been working at my laptop too, we have been spending more time in each other's company.  In fact, I spent several days engrossed in some work of my own, and A-One beat me to bed one night! Or more accurately, one morning.  I well understand the draw of some kinds of work, just to see it completed - as A-One finds with campaigns in WOW.  These days I usually avoid activities that hook me in this way because there are many other things that also need my attention.  So for me, I'm glad my work of last week is over and that I've returned to the land of the living.

A-One played his brain training exercises Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. On several days he played in his pyjamas at the eleventh hour, knowing now that if he waits until after midnight, it doesn't count for that day.

• His best score for Speed was on Tuesday, achieving his highest yet, coming in at 56.2nd percentile.  Since then he's been steady at 54.4th percentile, with a slight drop on Friday to 54.1st percentile.

• He has also been steady on Memory at 47.8th percentile with working memory played most days, rising to 48.8th percentile on Friday.

• Very few Attention games were offered this last week, so A-One has been steady there too at 33.4th percentile.

• Of late his program seems to have been exercising mainly his Flexibility, particularly brain shift, which has seen a good improvement last week, rising to 28.2nd percentile. I'm hoping these exercises will help him with his rigidity - in helping formulate options when considering courses of action.

• No change in problem solving (only a couple of games last week), at 9.1st percentile.

• His overall percentile is now 31.2nd percentile - still his highest yet.

A-One and I reviewed his results each day, and if information processing and working memory were not offered, I suggested additional games.  However with my own busy-ness I did not push it, and A-One did not play any additional games last week.

Nevertheless on Friday I felt like celebrating, so on Friday morning I raised the idea of going out for a low key dinner that night.  A-One seemed open to the idea.  I reminded him that he'd need to be ready by 6:30pm so that we could pick up his sister from work on the way.

I was very pleased to see him stop playing WOW at 5pm, with no prompting, to have a shower. At about 5:30pm he came downstairs wrapped in a towel to check with me again about the leaving time.  I told him that he needed to be ready by 6:30pm in case his sister rang for an early pickup, as she sometimes does, but that if she doesn't ring, we'd be leaving at 6:45pm. He then went back upstairs.

At 6:45pm he was still in the bathroom.

Mum: We have to leave now A-One.  Your sister has just called too.

A-One: I'll only be a couple of minutes.

Mum: But we have to leave now - as I told you this morning.  You've had all that notice!

A-One: I won't be long.

At 6:53pm:

Mum: A-One, we have to leave!

A-One: Okay. I'll only be a couple of minutes.

Mum: We have to go!

At 6:55pm, he came out of the bathroom looking very smart - he had shaved and put on nice clothes. I was pleased that he had taken care with his appearance, but I was also very conscious that his (younger) sister was waiting on a city street. At night. On her own.

Mum: I was really looking forward to being able to tell you what a great job you did being ready on time.  You stopped playing WOW at 5 o'clock which was great, but then you were still almost half an hour late!

A-One: If you must know, I was cutting my nails.  I've only done one hand.

(A-One's beard and nails get quite long when he plays WOW for weeks on end.)

Mum: Well, that's great too that you want to spruce up for going out - you look very handsome - but if you need more time to do that, then you need to start earlier.  You might say sorry to your sister for being late.

He didn't say sorry when we picked up his sister, but we did have a lovely meal.  With a little encouragement he tried something new to eat - and he finished it all before the rest of us, saying that's what he'll have every time he comes here!

His scores just keep improving

Last week A-One was frustrated with our intermittent wireless internet so he decided to reboot the router.  This causes issues for all users as we have to delete and reinstall all printer drivers, but this time it caused him an issue as well.  His laptop is now unable to use the wireless internet, despite his dad trying to troubleshoot the problem for several hours one night last week.

So he is without wireless internet access, but until that happened he had been able to do his brain training on Tuesday and Wednesday last week.  Wednesday saw him move up to 24th percentile for flexibility and up to 9.1st percentile for problem solving - his best yet!  Whoohoo!

On Wednesday he made the 30s! for his overall BPI percentile - 30.5th.  He had started at less than 10th - he just keeps improving.  Wednesday's games included another personal best for a game he likes - the cafe game about remembering names to faces and their orders.

And he may be applying some problem solving to real life. His dad and I were away for part of the weekend. When asked earlier in the week A-One chose not to join us.  However, when we were about to depart A-One asked where everyone was and commented that without internet there would be nothing for him to do. I reminded him that he could have come with us, but it was too late now.

As we were driving away I asked his sister to text him about free WiFi at the local library and that we could look up bus timetables if he wanted to take his laptop.  We didn't hear anything. Later on when I was talking to him he informed me that he had brought his laptop down to the study, unplugged his dad's laptop and plugged his in to access the cable internet.  Necessity the mother of invention?

Anyway, yesterday and today he has been happily ensconced at his dad's desk with his own laptop connected (until his dad needs to use his desk) .  He showed me his Wednesday scores, and when we saw that information processing wasn't included in Wednesday's games, he proceeded to choose and play an additional game without even so much as a whimper of protest.  In fact he showed some disappointment with his score having made only two errors.

Thank God it's Friday?

After Thursday's good day, Friday wasn't so flash.

Mum: OK A-One, time to get on to your brain training.

A-One: It's Friday!

Mum: And ...?

Later in the day he tried one game, then something locked up on his laptop and when he tried again it was after midnight and the site was unavailable.  On Sunday night when I asked him whether he had completed Friday's training, he hadn't.  However, he resumed on Monday.

He was given both information processing, working memory and flexibility games, resulting in scores similar to the day before.  He commented that he didn't like one of the games, a working memory game.

Mum: That means you're starting to work at a new level of capability - that's good.

Still, his overall BPI and percentile were marginally up again.  He's now performing overall at 25.6% of the population in his age range.

That sounds like a plan

Today was a good day.

After I woke A-One this morning I asked him about his plan for the day, to which he answered 'I don't know.'

Mum: Did you do your additional information processing and working memory games yesterday?

A-One: Yes.

Mum: Fabulous!

I gave him a gee up about getting on to today's games, then they'd be out of the way, and left it at that. 

Later on in the day, he came downstairs and told me there were three things he had to do today and proceeded to enumerate them.

A-One: I'll eat first, then I'll fix the DVDs folder, then Lumosity, then I'll report my income for Centrelink (which I should have done yesterday).

Mum: That sounds like a plan - well done!

This afternoon I asked him how it all went.

A-One: I've done them all.

Mum: That's great. Really well done.

It gets better.

He's now in the 25.3rd percentile for his overall BPI. He was presented with both an information processing and a working memory game today (so no extra ones to do), but it was his problem solving percentile which had shot up!  He's now in the 8.5th percentile! When he first started he was somewhere between <1st and 2.5th. We checked out which games he had been served: both a quantitative reasoning and a word sort game.  He performed significantly better with the word game, but even the maths one had risen slightly too.

I could see that he was pleased at my reaction to his problem solving result. Howzat!

Both a tortoise and a hare

It's been over a week and A-One has had no calls about going back to work. Despite our urging to make contact to show his interest, he has heard nothing and has not been willing to make the phone call.

So I did.

He has been registered with a disability employment service for several years, and they found him his current job.  I spoke to his consultant.  I had wanted to call her anyway to let her know about A-One's brain training work, and to let her know how it has been going.  I also mentioned the Arrowsmith program and how I have joined an advocacy group to bring the program to Australia.  It was not one with which she was familiar.

Of most interest to me was the feedback she gave about A-One's work.  She found that A-One worked really well on some days, but was very slow on others.  He worked best when there was someone there all the time encouraging him with 'You can do it A-One'.  When there wasn't anyone there he was very easily distracted, or would do the same thing over several times when it wasn't really required.  His work buddy was able to complete the whole job sooner on his own than when they worked together and was not returning to the job. So A-One's job is on hold until they can find someone else to be his work buddy.

That certainly consolidated for me the consistency of our experience of A-One:

• at home
• his first job after he left school (Life since school)
• this job (It's all in the timing)

I spoke with A-One about it.

A-One: Why did you phone up? That's not your business!

Mum: Because Dad and I wanted to know what was going on.  We wanted some idea as to when you might be going back to work.

Mum: We're hearing again that even though you know the job very well, it's the inconsistency in your pace that is difficult for employers.  You often tell me 'I know' when I remind you about doing things, and it's clear to me that you can readily learn a job, but you need help in doing it at a consistent pace.

A-One: My work buddy probably got sick of me.

Mum: I don't know anything about that.

A-One resumed playing WOW  as I was speaking to him.

Mum: Could you take your character to a safe place and pause the game while we're talking about this?

A-One: I can listen to you while I do this.  See I'm responding to you?

Mum: That's pretty amazing seeing your auditory processing is somewhat impaired ....

Mum: Remember your cooking plan which includes the times of when to do things (It's all in the timing)?  What if you do that for other jobs so that you can do them at a more consistent pace, and improve your work prospects?  Use the clock as your friend to check things off against the time on the plan. Remember how I tell you to take note of the time when you start and finish jobs? We've been trying to tell you this, but you haven't wanted to know.

A-One: I get it Mum.





Later on A-One came downstairs and asked me which additional games he should play today.

That's a first. 

I'm good with names

A-One's overall percentile after today's training was 24.5th - achieving a new high yet again at 808 BPI. His memory score was significantly further up from yesterday and his flexibility had just nudged higher than his previous highest before the break.

He was not served up any information processing or working memory games today. His memory game was about remembering faces. He usually does quite well with the cafe game where he has to remember both faces and orders, so it seems that remembering faces is quite a good strength for him.

He did it!

My son A-One did it! (she said proudly).  He played the extra game yesterday for information processing. My cup is full.

When I woke him this morning (even though I knew he'd been up until at least 3am), I gee'd him up to get onto his brain training first thing, and asked by-the-way about yesterday's extra work.

A-One: Yes, I did it.

Mum: Fantastic!  And how did you go?

A-One: OK I suppose.

Mum: Brilliant that you did it A-One.

He smiled, so I could see that he was pleased with the praise (unlike yesterday).

Later, when I was 'bragging' about him to his sister,

A-One: You don't have to tell everyone Mum.

Mum: You've heard about people who overcome obstacles - you could be one too you know. You could be an inspiration to others.

I was out again this morning, but he had finished today's training by the time I came home for lunch.  His overall BPI is now 763 at 21st percentile - the highest yet!  He wasn't served up a speed game today (so no information processing), but the memory game was on working memory again. He improved further, taking his memory to 32.1st percentile - another PB.  Other areas have been steady.

The online chart of his progress is showing a steep improvement since he resumed a couple of days ago.  When I mentioned that it looks like he's taking off, he seemed pleased - in a 'let's not go over the top here Mum' kind of way.

Mum: You didn't get an information processing game today, so that's what you'll need to add today.

A-One: It's my choice. I won't get worse if I don't do it.

Mum: How fast do you want to improve?  5 years? 6 months?

A-One: Well, not 5 years I suppose.

Mum: The more work you do, the faster you'll improve your prospects.  That'll be easier while you are still young.

I went back to my earlier notes on A-One's brain training.  He has improved over 500 BPI and 10 percentiles since he first started on 12 November 2012!  With a break of almost two months in between, that's really just a little more than a month of actual training.  We looked at it together and he seemed pleased with his progress.  I asked him to imagine getting to the 30th percentile ...

Best yet!

Whoohoo! Today A-One increased his BPI for memory (and it was working memory) by 113! (It wasn't before 10am, but at least it was before lunch.) And his overall BPI is the highest it's been, with his overall percentile at 19.6. He gained PBs for flexibility and problem solving which is now at 5.5th percentile.

Mum: Hey, that's fantastic - your score for memory!   And you're not only back at the level that you were, you're higher!

A-One, flatly: Yeh-Mum-it's-fantastic.

I noticed that his speed was still down, and that it wasn't an information processing exercise.  I told him ne needed to pick one of those and add it, so that he gets an information processing exercise in per day.  I needed to go out, and I haven't found out yet whether he added it.

I doubt it.

Speak to me of love ...

Another conversation this morning about making brain training a priority.

Mum: Get on to your brain training this morning so that I can write it up and then my day is clear for other things.

A-One: Can't I just tell you when I've done it?

Mum: I'm the busy one, and I need you to work in with me so that I can plan my day.

A-One: I don't have to do it to suit your convenience! You don't have the authority to tell me when I have to do it.  (Doesn't he have great verbal skills?)

Mum: Well, yes I do. It is a requirement of living in this house that you complete your brain training by 10am every day.  

A-One: You don't say things like that to your immediate family!  Maybe to others, but not to me, and I don't see you saying it to .. (A-One's sisters).

Mum: Your brain training is that important! Successful people decide what are the top 1-3 things to do every day, and don't let other things get in the way - they make time for the important things first!  I'm trying to show you successful life skills.  I've given up work so that I can work with you or find something to help you.  I have made this my top priority.  (I felt tears rising) it's because I love you A-One, not because I want to make your life difficult. I've researched this work, and you will have to give me the benefit of the doubt about its value.

A-One: Okay.

On reading this, those who subscribe to a self-directed learning philosophy may squirm. It's clear what my priorities are for A-One, what about his? They may ask, how is that respectful of him? Yet our experience of A-One is that he lacks initiative. He lacks the capacity to translate an abstract goal into real concrete steps, and from what I have read, I think this passivity is one of his cognitive impairments. Last year, the neuropsychologist told us to be directive in taking positive steps.  She commented that waiting for him wasn't working, was it?

In the end, we want him to know he is loved, and our drive (and frustration) comes from there.

 

His scores today were similar to yesterday; speed was down, but the others were OK. A couple of new games.

As we looked at his scores, I explained to A-One the importance of two types of games based on his previous capability assessments: information processing and working memory. We looked at the games available, noting those that exercised these capabilities. I told him that if the program doesn't serve up these games to him, he needs to add them in as 'extras' every day.

Time will tell whether I've got through to him for just today, or for the days ahead too.