Speak to me of love ...

Another conversation this morning about making brain training a priority.

Mum: Get on to your brain training this morning so that I can write it up and then my day is clear for other things.

A-One: Can't I just tell you when I've done it?

Mum: I'm the busy one, and I need you to work in with me so that I can plan my day.

A-One: I don't have to do it to suit your convenience! You don't have the authority to tell me when I have to do it.  (Doesn't he have great verbal skills?)

Mum: Well, yes I do. It is a requirement of living in this house that you complete your brain training by 10am every day.  

A-One: You don't say things like that to your immediate family!  Maybe to others, but not to me, and I don't see you saying it to .. (A-One's sisters).

Mum: Your brain training is that important! Successful people decide what are the top 1-3 things to do every day, and don't let other things get in the way - they make time for the important things first!  I'm trying to show you successful life skills.  I've given up work so that I can work with you or find something to help you.  I have made this my top priority.  (I felt tears rising) it's because I love you A-One, not because I want to make your life difficult. I've researched this work, and you will have to give me the benefit of the doubt about its value.

A-One: Okay.

On reading this, those who subscribe to a self-directed learning philosophy may squirm. It's clear what my priorities are for A-One, what about his? They may ask, how is that respectful of him? Yet our experience of A-One is that he lacks initiative. He lacks the capacity to translate an abstract goal into real concrete steps, and from what I have read, I think this passivity is one of his cognitive impairments. Last year, the neuropsychologist told us to be directive in taking positive steps.  She commented that waiting for him wasn't working, was it?

In the end, we want him to know he is loved, and our drive (and frustration) comes from there.

 

His scores today were similar to yesterday; speed was down, but the others were OK. A couple of new games.

As we looked at his scores, I explained to A-One the importance of two types of games based on his previous capability assessments: information processing and working memory. We looked at the games available, noting those that exercised these capabilities. I told him that if the program doesn't serve up these games to him, he needs to add them in as 'extras' every day.

Time will tell whether I've got through to him for just today, or for the days ahead too.